Journals142
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moving accounts again
1 min read
moving to 
don't ask why, just watch me if you want to
don't ask why, just watch me if you want to
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omg this isn't facebook
1 min read
i swear to god if i see someone upload another selfie i'm going to rip out my eyes and stick them in a blender
and then i'll treat myself to an eyeball smoothie and vomit all over their selfies
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i am so evil
1 min read
when people post those "what am i to you?" polls and one of the options is "crush"
i like to choose it to get them all excited
i'm going to hell
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weasyl + tumblr
1 min read
so uh
i kinda sorta maybe hopped on the bandwagon and made a weasyl account :I
here: www.weasyl.com/~bitey
also i made yet another tumblr but this one might end up being more of a personal tumblr and not art
but also art as well??? idk lol just follow me if you want: maddie-the-pluviophile.tumblr.…
i may or may not leave this website, not sure yet
i mean it holds lots of memories and friends and;;
well, i just haven't been real active here lately and i'm just kinda growing tired of this website
idk, i'm not gone but i'm not necessarily active either
meh
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damN IT DAMN IT
4 min read
just damn it.
no but seriously,
i'm just
so,,, upset ;;
i don't even know how to explain what i'm feeling
so, have any of you ever met someone on the internet,
and you get friendly and shit
and you learn the dude/lady is hot as hell, incredibly smart, understanding, kind, and not only that;
but he/she is like a copy of you, you just get along so well and and
you start to become really close as you learn about each other and you pretty much talk everyday
but neither of you wants a long-distance relationship and that's okay, because you can accept that
and then he/she tells you that he/she loves you, and you tell them that you love them back
and you become even closer, and almost every thought you have is of them
you and just
love them
and this goes on for a while, like a couple months, and then he/she suddenly removes you from their friends list
and you don't notice until they say something, because this is unexpected and the last time you two talked everything was fine, and so you ask,"Oh, why did you do that? I don't remember pissing you off."
and they're like,"Yeah, you didn't piss me off. I'm just going to leave and remove you from my friends list. What do you think of that?"
and to keep your pride you're like,"good for you, have a nice life. I don't really care." because you don't want to admit that you're hurt
and they're like,"Oh, you don't care? Okay." and then they ignore you some more. and later on they ask you,"Do you think we'll talk on FB?"
and you say,"That's up to you." because you didn't even start this and you don't even know what to think. and then they start yelling at you and saying things like,"yeah, it's always up to me, huh? never up to you. you never did anything." and you start getting emotional because
that really hurt your feelings. because all this time you thought he/she enjoyed talking to you
and so you mute yourself while their friend who happened to be their was like,"dude she just goes with the flow"
and he says,,
he says,"yeah. that's what I hate about her." and you can practically hear the sound of your heart breaking
and so you end the chat/call/whatever
and cry for 4 hours straight because this was such a shock and you don't even know what happened or what's going on
and then you return to see 2 messages from him/her
and they say,"I'm sorry.....Im a bad person in certain ways...I just cant keep talking to somebody Im in love with, but is so far out of reach...I hurt you...Im sorry...Dont pity me. Dont message back...I just had to tell you...to make myself not feel so guilty"
"I love you so much... even if we've never met...I think the world of you, and wish I could make your life happier... I love you <insert name here>...I love you. I love you...Im so sorry...I know you dnt care.... I wish you did... goodbye.."
and those last few words feel like sucker punches in your stomach
because you remember that you told them that you didn't care even though you care so very much
and it hurts even more
and you don't reply
you just let them think you don't care
because that's all you can do at this point, because there's no going back to the times when
you two laughed together, had serious and fun conversations, talked about each others problems.
and neither of you two judged each other, because you understood each other and loved each other too much to judge.
and now it's over.
it's
done
and you've never felt so alone in your entire life.
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